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    The women who coined this term have laid out the different roles one might find in a typical urban gaggle. At all costs, preserve the basic outlines of your basically happy life. But no one ever thinks about what life is like in rural America, so I adapted their ideas to my country existence. Or it will be the right man but married, or the one you had a hot night with in the city but you could never live with who shows up with a backpack ready to become a farmer for love. Dating in my twenties and thirties made me feel like Odysseus, trying to choose between dashing myself on the ego-bruising rocks of casual romps or a slow death from unrequited lust for garbage humans.There was the ex who brutally dumped me but wouldn't stop emailing me for months, whose presence at dorky work gatherings made me dizzy; the sociopathic film critic whose shoulder I virtually cried on; the go-nowhere first dates; and the great, wide swaths of time spent single, usually pining after some unavailable director or writer who'd relish my attention and nothing else. There were a few things that sent me into a panic about turning 40, but the biggest — looming larger than the golden ring of a book deal or a staff job or, like, finally going back to yoga — was what it meant for me to still be single and actively looking for a partner at that age. If you're not familiar with the exciting world of online dating, sites and apps let you set search parameters that range from location to body type to education and, yes, age range.They enjoy sports, music, arts, etc., just as you do. Then check it out: The motto of Trek is "Love long and prosper." This is a site where it's perfectly acceptable for people to describe themselves as "Geek to the max!However, they are convicted felons and caution should be used." Love long and prosper Love sci-fi? " or "Uhura Seeking Her Spock" or "Romulan assassin in training seeking partner for long-term missions." Natural rejection If you want to behold survival of the meanest in action, check out Darwin And the site has grand ambitions, too: "Redhead World doesn't want to just provide a great toolset for meeting redhead singles and friends.Or, do I have confidence and trust that some day, the right bearded man is going to drive down my road in a pickup truck to find me picking blackberries in a cute pair of cut-offs and cowboy boots? That is basically a good thing but it is not amusing. For the past couple of years I have survived by developing a “gaggle,” the select group of guys in my life who play different roles, fulfill different needs, and can potentially help me identify what kind of relationship I would like to have next time around.

    Still, the day after I turned 40, I decided to fire up an old profile and see what happened.

    Here are 26 sites to help you find that special, unique someone: Farmers are so down to earth Farmers brings together farmers, ranchers, agriculture students, horse owners, livestock owners and "cowboys, cowgirls, rodeo fans and country wannabes." The site's founder says you don't have to be a farmer, "but you do have to have good old-fashioned down-to-earth values," and the site's motto says it all: "City folks just don't get it!

    " Jailhouse lovin'As boldly announces on its homepage, there are all sorts of "lonely attractive inmates" out there who would love to have penpals.

    Guys who look like Captain America can fling woo at whatever woman they want and make them weak in the knees, and they can topple them right over with one smoldering glance, or, failing that, by throwing a shield at them.

    But that doesn't mean that the rest of us, with our roundy faces and mopey demeanors, are doomed to wander the terrible Earth alone forever.

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